The bee pillow

This story is not my own but it was encouraging to me and so I wanted to share it with my little group of Hawthorne Happenings readers. It was written by the wife of my sister's pastor and shared with a sweet group of ladies in their church recently. I hope she doesn't mind my sharing it with all of you. Enjoy

Jennifer

Most of you saw me run LATE into Bible Study Wednesday night with my hair a fright, my mis-matched clothes and the general look of weariness etched all over my face. Well, Wednesday had been quite a day-it started with me actually holding an umbrella for our psychotic puppy who is terrified of life in general and wouldn't go potty for fear of the rain (those who know me well are chuckling at this picture) and it ended with me being late by playing the good mom card. About 5:45 I asked the girls if they wanted to enter anything in the Pott County Fair feeling assured that the answer would be a resounding "no". But Annabeth's eyes lit up as she ran to grab a bee pillow that started as a project for Keepers of the Home. Emma, in her very non-chalant way, said "I guess" and grabbed a knitted headband she had done. Well, Annabeth and I dashed out the door to enter the projects which were due by 6:00. Along the way, we chatted about how fun it would be to get a ribbon thinking that surely all projects in the Shawnee fair would get something. Now, keep in mind that Annabeth's bee pillow is probably only something that a mom could love as she completely designed, drew, cut, stitched and stuffed it herself (with a little help from my mom).

On to Thursday (and hopefully the point of this, right?) - Annabeth had gymnastics so the other two and I ran over to the fair to see what ribbons were won. Emma's headband jumped right out at us as she has a beautiful first place ribbon stuck to it. I had to look quite a bit for Annabeth's pillow as it was kind of stuck near the back and completely alone-no ribbon. Well, my mommy heart immediately sank because surely the only point of this dumb fair was for my children to feel good about themselves with a ribbon, right? In my anger, I seriously contemplated finding the great keeper of the fair ribbons and bribing them to at least stick a participatory ribbon on that precious pillow! Well, the moment comes when I see Annabeth and she says "What color ribbon did I get Mom?" and I have to say "Well, honey it seems that there were several entries in your category and you didn't get one" Her little face falls and the tears start to spill over her eyes and I'm just scrambling with what to say in this "life lesson moment" that I hadn't planned on. Instead I pull her in my lap and as the tears start to fall down my face she says "Why are you crying Mommy?" and I answer, "Because when a baby's heart hurts, their mommy's heart hurts" She answers "Will your mommy's heart hurt even now?" and I think "yes" because I'm getting ready to go crawl in my closet and tell my mommy the entire story. I say some kinda-hopefully healing things to Annabeth and we end up having a sweet conversation about life and disappointments and as soon as I can I get in my closet and tell my mom the whole story. Sure enough, by the time I am done she's crying because unbeknown to me she and Annabeth had quite a bit of fun working on that pillow together while I was out running errands. As I fell asleep that night I'm thinking that suddenly that silly bee pillow is incredibly precious and holds all kinds of memories now that will be tucked in a chest and pulled out near Annabeth's wedding someday and re-lived with smiles.

I don't want to over-spiritualize something as silly as a bee pillow and the real life struggles don't even compare to this simple story but as I was praying the Lord used even this simple moment to encourage my heart. So many of you sweet women are struggling right now with seeing God as good when all you want is something that seems so good and right. All you want is a "little ribbon on a bee pillow" and when that doesn't happen your heart is broken and you are left wondering why on earth would a good, gracious, beautiful Father prevent the good things your heart is yearning for? I don't have beautiful answers for that but I do know that your Father's love for you is perfect and holy and a pure love that doesn't even compare to the love of a mother for a child. He will bring all glory to Himself and you are part of that glory under the blood of His Son. As I held Annabeth in a moment of sadness for her I was overwhelmed with just how much I loved her in her pain and she and I did end up having a sweet conversation about life and disappointments and trust in God. My goal was a ribbon but obviously God's goal was a bit more meaningful.